By Ben Jaggers
Flexibility is a word that not everyone uses when referring to mental health. But the term has everything
to do with mental health. I’ve learned that flexibility can be from both the mind and/or the body. But for
this article I’d like to focus on what it takes to be flexible when managing your mental health. Early in my
recovery I wanted to give up because the chips were stacked against me. Today I value those moments
that tested my resilience. I’m thankful that I’ve been able to have the support in my life to help me
navigate those trying moments. I’ve learned that with time, effort, and facing both good and bad
situations, I can establish victories both big and small. How did I establish victories? First, I had to get
honest with myself and with others. I had to find my place in recovery, while in the background recovery
was finding it’s place in me. I had a lot of free time on my hands to think and wonder about what my life
would be like if I ever managed to pull it all together.
Gratitude played a major role in my recovery with mental health early on. I had to look at my situation
from a grateful view point which took flexibility on my part. Gratitude helped me see the sunlight in a
dim situation. And I still practice gratitude some twelve years later and it still works. When it came to
support, others had to practice flexibility with me. They had to practice patience and tolerance. Now that
I saw how the efforts of others played a role in my recovery I have learned ways to play a role in others
recovery with mental health. I can be flexible with my word selection to foster hope and help others find
resources to get them to where they need to go. Being flexible doesn’t mean always bending to the will
of others. But it means to help when you can, don’t be discourage by not being able to help. If you’re not
in a place where you can give, you can find other ways of helping. Being flexible is about finding a
balance, setting boundaries, and practicing saying no. If you’re at your limit saying yes if you can say no.
Making sure you practice self-care is paramount to your helping tank and has everything to do with
practicing flexibility. You want to make sure your helping tank is full. You have to ask yourself is what I’m
doing in the best interest of them and me? And the answer may be no but yet you continue to go
through with the action. That’s OK! The more helping you can do the more you learn what you can and
can not do.
Remember earlier in this article we discussed supports and how needed flexibility was. By being patient
and tolerable and making sure your help tank is full you stay ready. You need to be patient and tolerable
of your own skills and capabilities. If I could encourage you would you say, “Yes?” If I discouraged you
would you say, “No?” The point here is that you shouldn’t sell yourself short by being discouraged into
not doing something that may be helpful to you and others. Practicing flexibility means taking charge
and stepping out on a limb while honoring the worth of you and others. Willingness plays a major part in
the amount you give to others. An ant can carry more than its own body weight. I want you to know that
even a small act of flexibility on your part can make a huge impact on the mental health care of others.
By being mindful of others you are being flexible and you can make great changes.
Ben Jaggers, APSS, MSSW
Advanced Level WRAP Facilitator
Bridgehaven Center for Peer Excellence Recovery Coordinator